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In memory of Intercepted

Once upon a time I published a zine called Intercepted (click on the link for the on-line version of the later issues) which was sort of like storytelling via the bulletin board at your local con, or a really widely ranged rpg (again, check the link - see the file called "background information"). It died from disuse a few years back (no point when you've only got one or two people contributing), but I made an attempt to restart it in Inksome. Didn't work, or the following would have gone there, however I've decided to post it in here for the fun of it.

In pursuit of the notion that there’s a use for everything…

Consider if you will, the dreaded Mary Sue. The perfect character, beautiful and wise as the insert your own cliché, capable of teleporting to Mount Doom and dropping in the ring, turning Voldemort into a cute Good Guy, finding the Lost Ark, ending the White Witch’s Winter in Narnia before Aslan even gets there, and collecting ALL of the Pokémon in one afternoon, without so much as chipping her nails. Annoying, boring, relentlessly in the way of all decent story writing; universally hated and useless. Right?

Actually, that depends on who you are in the story. If you’re a protagonist she’s a bloody nuisance (or if you’re convinced she’s your soul mate, anyway a distraction). Suppose, however, you’re walking down the street, intent on your own business when you spot something white on the sidewalk. You reach down, pick it up and suddenly, *wham* a batch of guys in black robes wearing white masks pop up out of nowhere, scoop you up, and everything vanishes. When you come to, you find yourself in the center of a stone circle, bound to an altar with the masked guys doing mystical passes while some guy so ugly you wish he(?) WAS wearing a mask chants in really bad Latin and prepares to stab you with something pointy. You call for help, but can barely hear yourself. Worst of all, the author has not even bothered to give you a name.

In a word, you’re shafted.

But suddenly, there is a sound like a trumpet, and a high wind blows your assailants clean out of the picture. Someone in a golden robe, whose face shines so brightly you can’t even tell if they’re wearing a mask or not whispers softly “Be free, little one”, your ropes untie themselves, there’s a whoosh… and you find yourself back on the street holding a slightly crumpled card.

Yeppers, whether you’re the spear carrier in the way when the Hero comes through to the rescue of the Heroine, or the pathetic victim found tortured to death to show how nasty the villain is… the Mary Sue Squad is your friend! Just call for help and they’re there to save the day!


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 28th, 2011 03:40 pm (UTC)
Mind if I pass this on? I know a couple of GMs who could have excruciating fun with it...

Edited at 2011-04-28 11:37 pm (UTC)
Apr. 29th, 2011 02:36 am (UTC)
Sure, have fun!
Apr. 29th, 2011 04:33 am (UTC)
Right-o! It's not as though you'll have to deal with it, right? ;)
Apr. 29th, 2011 04:37 am (UTC)
Heh heh heh...
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )